The Storming of Manker Patten

A couple weeks before Eagleman, The Missile and I wanted to get one more open water swim in before the race. Rucks caught wind of it and asked if he could tag along. No problem.

We get there, position one of our cars at the end, get to the start and its raining. Rucks says “We are going to get wet anyway right?”
We all look a each other and say ok. Rucks starts about 5 minutes ahead, then The Missile goes, and then a couple minutes later I start. It was raining and misty and you could not see very far So I was a little concerend, but we had planned to stay closer to the shore than normal so I figured we would be ok

About 15 minutes in I catch The Missile and he says “I Think I heard thunder” we listen a minute and nothing, so we keep on going. I keep looking back every few strokes to keep an eye on The Missile. Once after doing one of these checks ,something on shore catches my eyes. Its a flash of red and arms waiving, “I think cant be Rucks?” After a double take it IS Rucks , 20 yards up the bank in front off the tennis courts. I think” What in the Hell is that joker doing up there?”

Well, he had heard the thunder as well and waved us out of the water. The Missile and I scrambled up the bank to where Rucks was. I say “great now what are we going to do?” Rucks says “come on this way, this is a regular short cut for me” I say “Through the Tennis courts, are you kidding?” He says “No”
So the 3 of us are walking through the complex with tri shotrts, no shoes, and Rucks ironically is the only one with a tri-suit on.

I am fairly cold so I suggest we jog the 3/4 of a mile back to the car. We all get going. For some reason we take the steps down to Veterans bridge (like on the Waterfront Tri run course). Needless to say there are a lot of cars going by and plenty of honking. We get back to the car and Rucks says: ” Well great!!! My two friends, my pals!!!!!!!…. Thanks A lot!!!!”…… The Missile looks at me and we shrug. Rucks continues ” You couldnt even tell me I still had my dang pink swim cap on!!!!” ” No wonder we got honked at so much!!!” I say “Hey man I thought you were leaving it on for warmth, I told you 3 times you still had it on”……..

Waterfront RR-Long story short: Major letdown

Pre race- everything goes smoothly. Get there on time, get wheels pumped up, and a good transition spot, and up to the swim start with no major problems.

Swim: Pretty good here , comes out of the water with a solid 4:30 lead over the other unknowing competitor in the smackdown

T1- needs a little work here but still putting time into him

Bike: Solid effort here again considering the hills and that we are talking about a clydesdale smackdown. This should have been more “free” time for Rucks to put into the bank to pad the run a little. The problem is that he got a little overzealous on the Accelerade intake. When I say overzealous I dont mean a little too much and his stomach got a little upset, I mean like he had 1 whole waterbottle of the stuff downed before he made the first left onto MLK! Major stomach issues ensued due the mixing of the 4:1 ratio of carbs to protien in this formula and the high heart rates of a 40k tt. (unfortunately he did not “leave the competition behind” as the marketing for accelerade promises)

Run: 3 words: Violent Projectile Vomiting. Rucks was off the bike ahead but in bad shape and things went downhill from the first step. The stomach was not processing and we all know “the Slosh” he was feeling and what it was leading too. After a couple of pit stops and having to watch the smackdown competitor waltz by him obliviouse –and with a smile on his face– just added insult to injury. The good news is that our boy manned up, finished the race, clocked in at sub 3 hours, and has one more issue to check off the list of things not to do at Ironman

We have established solidly through many RS#s that Rucks travels— a lot.(See RS#s 230, 219, 204, and 158). Routinely there are issues related specifically to overzealous training for triathlon that turn these trips more into adventures rather than just “travel for work”. This one was no exception-and involved a couple federal violations of the Patriot Act.

Rucks was headed out to Colorado to work for a short stint. He was taking his bike since the Golden/Boulder area is a mecca for riding and triathlon. Bike is boxed up, ready and checked at the airport. He was able to check it for free. ” Yes he thinks , Maybe this Rucks Sucks crap is over”. Not bloody likely…….. In line for the bag x-ray scanner, barefoot and pockets empty, he notices his bag stopped on the belt and being scrutinized thoroughly. He is asked the above question and perplexed answers with a resounding “No”

Rucks is immediately escorted by two suited TSA agents to a small and unfriendly looking interrogation room. A third, very stern looking, agent arrives 45 seconds later so Rucks doesn’t even have enough time to collect his thoughts before Johnny Law starts to rip into him….

TSA Agent:(as he dumps everything in Rucks carryon bag onto the table) “Are you absolutely sure you don’t play paintball?”
Rucks: (like a deer in headlights) No , I don’t play paintball

At this moment the offending objects clanks onto the table and a tense quiet falls over the room as the 3 agents look at the objects and then slowly turn their gaze over to Rucks (I am picturing they look like the 3 ” Agents” from the Matrix)

TSA Agent:” You realize you have broken multiple federal laws in your attempt to take these onto a plane? ”
Rucks:(trying desperately not to call anyone dude in the near future) “No , I didn’t realize that”

At this point Rucks notices that 2 of the agents are wearing rubber gloves and for a second he is horrified as he thinks of the reason why this may be

TSA Agent: “Well then it looks like you are in some trouble here“
Rucks: “But I use that for my bike, its on the plane already”
TSA Agent: “You mean to tell me you have a bicycle checked onto the plane?”

After a few minutes of awkward silence , it was confirmed, there was in fact a bike on the plane in Rucks’ name.

TSA Agent.: “Sir, You need make sure this doesn’t happen again.”
Rucks: “Yes sir, no problem”

Sometime in late 2006

Gibson: What is that?

Rucks: Its an energy drink

Gibson: Ok……

Rucks: you got a problem with energy drinks?

Gibson : nope

 

3 weeks later

 

Gibson: Are you STILL drinking that stuff?

Rucks: Yes

Gibson: I am not sure, but I think that is for Women…. but hey whatever….

Rucks: Shut up! No its not!

Gibson:(rolling eyes) OK

 

Next day

Rucks: (sheepishly) Uuum I did some research…. and….um…. You were right

Gibson: I told you TAB was for women!!!!

 

From Tabs Website: ” A Deliciously pink 5 calorie energy drink created SPECIFICALLY for women with a sense of style and purpose. Because its hard work being fabulous.”